I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
