Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
