I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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