come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
