i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
