you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
