how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
