her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
