I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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