yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
