No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
