Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dignity is for republicans.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
