Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
