In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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