throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
