Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
