either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
