butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
