one might say we're banned from that church
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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