Little spoons don't ask big questions
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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