I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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