Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
