hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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