where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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