im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
