I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
