im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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