I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
