I wannas sexs uuuuu
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
