Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
