1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
