dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm getting married
To pizza
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
