Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
