Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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