I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
