So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
