Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
