how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
