We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
