New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
