I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
