Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
