My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
