just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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