I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
