i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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