Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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