I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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