Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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