Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
