You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
