break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
