My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
