do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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