I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
