Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
