bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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