I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
