Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
