I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
