I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
