I didn't shave. On purpose
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize