coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
