just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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