capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
