So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
