um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
