I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
