I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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